I remember me and Mark sitting having a conversation a few years ago about life and for the first time ever I told him just how much he had done for me through the years and how much I appreciated it. We have always been close but boys being boys we were never big on talking about feelings, we never had to there was always just a mutual understanding of how we felt. That conversation comes back to me more and more as time passes because as much as I appreciated his efforts then its only now that he's gone that I see just how much of my life he influenced and shaped. There is not a day goes by that I don't think about him. From my taste in music, clothes, friends, sense of humour, right down to my vocabulary and mannerisms everything is a constant reminder of him and of what I have lost. Its hard to always be reminded of what I have lost but it is also strangely comforting at the same time, I see it as him being with me everywhere I go. He lives on through Shona, Beth, Callan, Kelvin and Alexander and would be so proud of all of them just as the rest of us are. Being such a close family has helped us all get through this and all we can do for the future is to be there for each other just as Mark was there for us all when we needed him.