Mark, you are never far from my thoughts and days like today, your birthday, are particularly emotional. As a family we talk of you often, usually as though you were still with us. This year has been an especially difficult one with Beth becoming 18 and leaving school for college. You would be so proud of her, she is such a very special young lady. As for your boys, they are growing up far too fast! Each of them is like you in different ways and Callan and Kelvin both miss you so much. Sadly you never got to meet Alexander but he is so much a Richardson with a huge coo's lick! As a family we now have one day each month were we all try and get together and do something which can range from being down the river throwing sticks and stones to a day spent playing board games or crafting, it is just important to be with one another and make sure everyone knows how important they are to each other. It's something we have always done over the years but now we make sure it happens every month, I felt is was especially important for your children to know they are very much part of your family and it has strengthened the bonds between us all. Shona is doing a brilliant job under difficult circumstances especially with her own health not being fantastic just now. You are missed more and more each day, the hole you left is way too big for anyone to fill but we are all trying to do our wee bit to keep the plates in the air and your memories alive. There are just not enough words to tell you how much your death has impacted on each of us, just know that you are loved, you always have been and always will be. Love Mum x

You touched absolutely every aspect of my life, i get daily reminders of your influence and absence which I try my best to control, accept and enjoy. I am both lucky and extremely grateful for having known, loved and been taught so much by you, my best friend, role model, father figure and all round hero. You always thrived on teaching and showing me things from a young age and a lot of who I am today is because of you, this is reflected In the four kids as you honed your skills being my role model and then absolutely flourished as a father, although Alexander was not lucky enough to get to know you and Kelvin was still extremely young, i promise they will never forget who there daddy was and what a great, warm hearted man you were. Not always one to practice what you preached you never stopped trying to encourage and help the potential of others, you always believed in and encouraged me and had an uncanny ability to tell me exactly what I needed to hear to guide me in the right direction . No amount of words can express the pain and loss I and the entire family have felt since you passed, time has brought acceptance but no more, the wound is still as raw now as the day you left us, the kids, Shona and the family as a whole have been absolutely wonderful at supporting each other and doing our best to fill the gap you have left but by fuck that's a big hole. Everyday I see and think of you and am so happy we had the time and love that we did, as hard as the constant reminders of my loss are it is also a huge comfort to see the fruits of your labour in my life and those of the people that were lucky enough to know you. Be in peace bro, its my time to step up i will take care of things here just like you taught me

Today I had to go to the hospital pharmacy to collect medicine for Kelvin. As I got out of the lift the first sign I saw said mortuary. Then it hit me that that's where you would have been, before you were taken to Edinburgh. When things hit me like that it's like being hit with a physical force and it makes my legs weak and my heart race. I went to a psychic medium night a short while ago because I have so many unanswered questions but i wasn't ready to hear anything yet. I will go back and hopefully next time I will be ready to hear what you need to tell me and you will be ready to share. With all my love, Mum x x x